I've been away from this space for a while. In June, we lost my friend, Leanne Hanson. My closest friend's Mom passed away a week later and she was a lady who was so dear, and so kind to me over the years. My Mom went into palliative care during all of this, the first week of June. Mom left us in late September, after a ten year battle with Multiple Myeloma. The silent, invisible storm raging around me and inside me left me with no words. I've tried to come back to this spot a few times since June, but my words were not ready. I think they may have finally have come back to me.
Two weeks ago, I was over at my Dad's house. He's in the midst of a nasty bout of gout and isn't getting around so well right now. I went over to help him with a few things like laundry and meal prep. While I was there, I was putting out some Christmas decorations to make the house feel a little more festive and a little less empty. I went to the linen closet to get out my Mom's favourite poinsettia table runner and as I took it out, I could feel it was heavier and a little bulkier than it should be.
I unwrapped it carefully to find a little white bag. Inside it were 3 identical Christmas ornaments. This is not where the Christmas ornaments are kept. If you knew my Mom, she was a meticulous house keeper. Everything had it's spot. For her Christmas ornaments, that spot was in the basement with the Christmas tree - not the linen closet. As well, for the last 15 years, her own tree has been an Angel ornaments only theme. So my first thought was, "this is odd."
With my next breath, I thought of my two sisters and of Christmases past. Every year at Christmas, for as long as I can remember, Mom would give us each an identical (or close to identical) ornament. Sometimes they were found on a trip she took, or in a local shop. But every year, there they were.
3 Identical ornaments.
There was no note with them, no dated receipt, nothing to tell me why they were there. I asked Dad if he knew where they came from. He had never seen them before.
I can only guess that last winter, or in the early spring, before she got so sick, she found these 3 identical ornaments somewhere and bought them with her three girls in mind. She wrapped them in paper towel, put them in a bag and left them in a safe spot where she would be sure to find them come Christmas time; with her favourite Christmas runner.
I've wrapped them in holiday paper, addressed them to my sisters 'from Mom' and placed them under the tree. They will be the last ornaments we receive from her. Our last tangible gift from Mom, after a lifetime of so many intangible gifts given to us.
Merry Christmas
